How are you starting your new year? Because I’m not. Starting things is hard. A blank canvas, a blank screen, an empty stage, it all feels daunting. So instead, I’m going to keep my current year going. Treating January as a continuation of what I was doing in December. Sure, I might add some new exercises, new foods, learn new things, but that’s on top of everything that’s already going on. I’m not starting fresh in the new year. That’s too much work. I’m just riding the momentum of life into another day.
Happy day just like any other day!
If you’re feeling the pressure to do something special today, and come up with a bunch of resolutions, and generally fix everything that you feel is wrong with you, maybe take the day off. Especially if you have mental health goals, because that all sounds like a lot. Yes, January 1st feels like a good deadline to start some new habits, but January 2nd is also fine. Jan. 3rd is another day. In fact, each new day is just as special as the last.
If anything, the designated special days (birthdays, holidays, national pizza day) often end up feeling more stressful to live up to the hype than the fun they’re supposed to be. So take New Year’s off its pedestal and just be okay being okay today. You can start becoming that fitter, happier, richer, artier, chefier, sportier, decoratier, smurfier person on Jan… 11th...ish.
Goal Setting for Anxiety
Well, it’s that time of year again, when we all set goals to fix everything that’s wrong in our lives. And each year, I think more and more of those goals are becoming about mental health. You know, because “to travel the world” and “to hug more people” and “to get out of bed” got crossed off. The goal setting tip I want to talk about today is: setting your goal in the positive. Meaning, making a plan to move towards what you want, instead of away from what you don’t.
Before we talk about anxiety goals, let’s use an analogy that most people can relate to: weight. Let’s say you think of yourself as overweight, you might set the goal “to be less fat.” Sounds super harsh, so we might soften it to “to lose 10 pounds.” But that’s still written like a solution to a problem. Meaning, we’re still focused on the problem. What is it we want? Like, what’s the real end goal of losing those 10 pounds?
Set the goal in the positive. Like, literally. Set the goal to something that will make you feel positive when you achieve it, AND make you feel positive on the journey. That’s key. Achieving goals doesn’t have to be a struggle. So you set it to something like, “to feel healthy and happy and good about myself.” That way, instead of just hitting the gym and pushing yourself/punish yourself, you also do activities that bring you joy.
And now anxiety. Let’s say you think of yourself as anxious, you might set the goal “to be less anxious.” Doesn’t sound as harsh as “less overweight,” but it’s still focusing on the idea that there’s something wrong with us that needs fixing. It’s a goal built out of fear. And yet, most of us stop there. I did.
For years my goal was to feel less anxious. So I did all the things I could think of to help me feel less anxious. Meditation, self-help, therapy, podcasts about anxiety, weed… and those were all great, but they also kept me focused on my anxiety. Because my anxiety was the reason I was doing them. I wasn’t meditating for fun, I was mediating to feel less anxious. So I wasn’t enjoying the journey. In fact, I was just constantly checking my anxiety level, which often goes up when you check it.
So I changed the goal to the positive and made it “to increase my joy” or “to feel happy and healthy” or something like that. Whatever it is, that’s the goal to aim for.
It doesn’t just change your mindset, it also changes how you might tackle the goal. You might still meditate to feel less anxious, but does meditating increase your joy? So you start coming up with addition plans to achieve your new goal. Doing improv, and softball, and watching cat videos, and weed.
What makes you smile? What makes you laugh? Those things are now a part of your mental health journey. Is watching Netflix a waste of time when you should be trying to feel less anxious? Maybe, if you’re watching something that sucks. But if you’re actually laughing and enjoying what you’re watching, well, my friend, you’re working on yourself right there!
To recap, set your mental health goals in the positive. Focus on the life you want, instead of focusing on fixing the one you don’t. And remember, you’re great.