tips for success

5 Expert Tips To Achieve Nothing

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It’s always the same, you set out to waste the day on the couch, but your brain ends up pressuring you into doing stuff. Things to make you feel like you’re not wasting the day.

But if you follow these 5 simple steps that all successful people do, or not, practice or not, or dedicate yourself, or don’t bother at all, you too can waste the day in style.

1) Write your Goal in Present Tense.

It’s helpful to write your goal as though you’ve already achieved it. Instead of “I’d like to try and be okay with not doing much today,” try “I’m doing nothing, and I’m loving it!” (Shirt idea that I won’t follow through on.)

2) Dream Big, but Start Realistic.

You’re not going to go from successful CEO-type person to casual layabout in one day. While you might not be able to stare at the wall for an hour straight with a smile (sober) like a Buddhist monk, you could start out with 30 seconds and see how it goes.

Take baby steps, like clicking “Watch Credits,” instead of automatically rushing to achieve the next episode.

3) Hold Yourself Accountable.

If you tell your friends you’re writing a book, they’ll ask how the book is going, which should shame you into action. (I’m working on it, I swear.) The same thing can happen with doing nothing.

A simple “I’m not going to grow as a person today” post, and you’ll feel pressured to not let your friends and family down by learning a new recipe, dance, college credit. And don’t fall victim to the irony of replying to their comments. That counts as achieving something.

4) Know what Success Looks Like to You.

Close your eyes. Picture yourself waking up in bed, and not getting out of bed all day or night (bonus expert tip: keep a bucket nearby). If you’re thinking, um, that’s my day every day, here’s the difference: in this version, you don’t feel pressure to get up and start the day, or nagging thoughts that it’s wrong to stay in bed. You know the truth. It’s okay to just be.

As a famous monk once said, “Just be. Be at one with the universe. In this moment. Somewhere comfy. Like your bed.”

If you’re allowed to do nothing, then anything you do is because you want to do it, not because you have to keep your brain busy. Shower because showers are warm and nice, not because you '“should” or because it’s “hygienic” or “you’re starting to smell to the point where people on video calls can sense it.”

5) Reward Yourself. 

If you’re doing nothing, and suddenly realize you’re not calling yourself lazy, or feeling like a loser, celebrate! Give your brain the gift of a crossword puzzle, an instructional video on coding, clean the house, write another blog post about doing nothing, or whatever else your brain thinks is “productive.”

Now stop reading this and get back to just breathing like a champ.