5 Expert Tips To Achieve Nothing

It’s always the same, you set out to waste the day on the couch, but your brain ends up pressuring you into doing stuff. Things to make you feel like you’re not wasting the day.

But if you follow these 5 simple steps that all successful people do, or not, practice or not, or dedicate yourself, or don’t bother at all, you too can waste the day in style.

1) Write your Goal in Present Tense.

It’s helpful to write your goal as though you’ve already achieved it. Instead of “I’d like to try and be okay with not doing much today,” try “I’m doing nothing, and I’m loving it!” (Shirt idea that I won’t follow through on.)

2) Dream Big, but Start Realistic.

You’re not going to go from successful CEO-type person to casual layabout in one day. While you might not be able to stare at the wall for an hour straight with a smile (sober) like a Buddhist monk, you could start out with 30 seconds and see how it goes.

Take baby steps, like clicking “Watch Credits,” instead of automatically rushing to achieve the next episode.

3) Hold Yourself Accountable.

If you tell your friends you’re writing a book, they’ll ask how the book is going, which should shame you into action. (I’m working on it, I swear.) The same thing can happen with doing nothing.

A simple “I’m not going to grow as a person today” post, and you’ll feel pressured to not let your friends and family down by learning a new recipe, dance, college credit. And don’t fall victim to the irony of replying to their comments. That counts as achieving something.

4) Know what Success Looks Like to You.

Close your eyes. Picture yourself waking up in bed, and not getting out of bed all day or night (bonus expert tip: keep a bucket nearby). If you’re thinking, um, that’s my day every day, here’s the difference: in this version, you don’t feel pressure to get up and start the day, or nagging thoughts that it’s wrong to stay in bed. You know the truth. It’s okay to just be.

As a famous monk once said, “Just be. Be at one with the universe. In this moment. Somewhere comfy. Like your bed.”

If you’re allowed to do nothing, then anything you do is because you want to do it, not because you have to keep your brain busy. Shower because showers are warm and nice, not because you '“should” or because it’s “hygienic” or “you’re starting to smell to the point where people on video calls can sense it.”

5) Reward Yourself. 

If you’re doing nothing, and suddenly realize you’re not calling yourself lazy, or feeling like a loser, celebrate! Give your brain the gift of a crossword puzzle, an instructional video on coding, clean the house, write another blog post about doing nothing, or whatever else your brain thinks is “productive.”

Now stop reading this and get back to just breathing like a champ.

Netflix and Chill Out: How to be unproductive, and mentally okay with it.

Right now, we all have all the time in the world to do all the things we’ve always wanted to do. Like make cooking videos, write posts about productivity, and build toilet paper forts. But with all that time comes all the pressure to do those things. We’ve run out of excuses.

in fact, there’s so much pressure to produce content/achieve greatness, that there’s a second wave of people letting us know that we don’t have to give in to the pressure. You’re enough as you are, and you don’t need to prove anything with your latest TikTok.

But pressure isn’t that simple to turn off. I appreciate the sentiment behind taking it easy, but that’s not going to stop my brain from calling me a lazy piece of shit. Or even worse, saying something mean. For many of us, we can’t just turn off that drive to improve, grow, be better — or at least think about doing those things.

So here’s a little life hack to help you take some time off, while still feeling like you’re achieving something. I present you…

How to watch Netflix and not feel like you’re a useless waste of a life

Here’s what I do:

Start watching Netflix.

Start to feel guilt, like I’m wasting my life and should be doing something productive.

Keep watching Netflix, but with a nagging voice in my head. Both battling for my attention.

The voice wins. Always.

Okay, let’s do something productive. To me, productive is working on my mental health. If I’m feeling anxious, and I do something to feel less anxious, that’s a huge achievement. A win so big, it’d earn me some Netflix time.

Am I saying do something like meditate, or read self-help books? Nope, still Netflix. ‘Cause here’s the trick:

If you wanna achieve less anxiety, achieve more joy.

Simple, I know. Angeringly simple to anyone with anxiety, but hear me out.

Every second I laugh, I don’t feel anxious. Any moment I feel joy, I’m pushing anxiety into the background, ‘cause joy has my attention right now.

But what sucks for us anxious-types is, on those rare times when we’re able to feel joy, it’s only a fleeting moment, and then anxiety comes back.

So here’s what you need to do. Be vigilant with joy. Force joy into your life. If anxiety comes back, you hit it again with laughter and joy.

And you can do it by watching something on Netflix that makes you laugh.

Then you’re doing something productive. You’re working on your mental health!

The one caveat is you have to enjoy what you’re watching. Sure, Tiger King is popular. But does it really make you feel joy and laughter?

Watch something that makes you feel good. The Good Life, Love, Queer Eye… I’ll stop telling you what to enjoy.

When your brain pipes up and says you should be doing something productive, tell your brain that by bringing joy into your life you’re feeling less anxious, and that’s a huge step towards a calmer, happier mind.

And your brain will be like, “That's all I needed to hear, let’s binge, baby!”