Even perfectionists need to give themselves some leniency the first time they try something new. First time you ever sit down at a piano, the expectation can’t be that you instantly play a perfect concerto. Second time, yes, obviously you should be concert-ready, but first time?! There’s gotta be some “First Time Forgiveness.”
Now, keep FTF in mind when I say, every single conversation you have in life, you’re having for the first time. Even conversations you feel like you’re having for the 100th time, it’s never happened in this exact context, with these exact words. Some part of it is always new.
Everything we do has some degree of newness. Some percentage of it is happening for the first time. And the percentage that’s happening for the first time needs to come with FTF.
Let’s say you go to your first improv class. Congrats, btw. And you and the class play the improv game where each person takes a turn adding one word to the story. Afterwards, you think, “That was hilarious, improv is amazing, and the story was fun, but wasn’t… perfect.” But hey, it’s your first time ever, so you can’t be too hard on yourself.
Then you play the same game again, but this time going in reverse order of the class. Second time, so you gotta think you’ll be better than the first time, but technically it is your first time going in this order.
Then you play it again, but this time in teams of two. Third time overall, but first time in pairs.
It could be your 100th time playing it, and something will always be different, new, the first time.
So when it doesn’t go perfectly (because things don’t, and that wouldn’t be as fun anyway) and you want to judge yourself, you have to factor in FTF. Instead of beating yourself up thinking, “I should be 100% great at this by now,” think, “I should be 80% great at this by now. But I should also go 20% easy on myself because it’s the first time playing it with these people, in this order, with this instructor, in these shoes… (or whatever is new this time).”
If there’s anything you’re being hard on yourself about right now, take a moment to think about what percentage was new/different this time. “I’ve done this presentation a thousand times… but never at this venue.” “I’ve met new people before… but never this person.” “I’ve done backflips plenty of times… but not usually with the whole office watching… anyway, here goes!”
Even if it’s only 1% different. Give yourself that 1% forgiveness for not being perfect. After all, you can’t be expected to be perfect, you’re living this exact moment for literally the first time.
100 Ways to Play at Work #26: Remember your Mantra
Another great character POV game. Go about your normal workings, but keep your mantra in mind, and see how it changes the way you do things. If your mantra is “Just be” then you might remember to stay zen during those tense moments. If your mantra is “This is my time” then you might feel inspired to greatness, or not tolerate useless meetings. Or maybe your mantra is “Can we please go one second without talking about AI?!”
What’s your mantra going to be today?
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This series was inspired by people asking me “How do I keep doing improv?” after a corporate improv workshop. There are, of course, improv classes, more workshops, team building exercises you can do with your group, but these games are specifically ones you can do on your own to practice “Yes and” and get into a state of play.
100 Ways to Play at Work #23: Horoscope
Find and read a daily horoscope for your sign. If you don’t believe in horoscopes, even better. Now, take what it’s saying, and help make it become a reality. “Take time to laugh with friends.” “Have a romance.” “Lead by example.” “Make a difference.” “Change… something.” Whatever it says, let that be your guide for the day.
Unless it’s no fun, or some dire warning or something, then skip today’s and try again tomorrow. That’s so Gemini of you.
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This series was inspired by people asking me “How do I keep doing improv?” after a corporate improv workshop. There are, of course, improv classes, more workshops, team building exercises you can do with your group, but these games are specifically ones you can do on your own to practice “Yes and” and get into a state of play.
100 Ways to Play at Work #16: Make Art
Don’t just staple pages together, staple a little picture. Make a flip book out of post-it notes. Bend paperclips into animals. Use highlighters as watercolour.
Take 10 minutes to just create… something. Go over to the photocopy room right now, grab some paper scraps, tape, markers and make your (daily? weekly?) masterpiece to display at your desk, or on the office fridge.
It’s not about selling the art, or doing a good job, it’s simply enjoying the act of creating something new.
What will you art today?
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This series was inspired by people asking me “How do I keep doing improv?” after a corporate improv workshop. There are, of course, improv classes, more workshops, team building exercises you can do with your group, but these games are specifically ones you can do on your own to practice “Yes and” and get into a state of play.